The Feeling of Laughter

So I had this dream the other night , well not really a dream because I don't remember anything specific except the laughter. It was as if the room was full of laughter. I was surrounded and embraced in it. I don't know if I was a part of the joke or the joke. I never saw anyone, I just heard the laughter. And it felt joyous, light, wonderful and I literally felt myself chuckle. The way infants do in their sleep. And then I heard her laugh. It was so clear, so near, as if she were in the room and it woke me. ~~~~~~
The funny thing is, earlier in the night I was telling a very comforting friend how truly sad I was. My every thought of Angela was making me want to cry. My every thought in life and sleep was cocooning me in the urge to cry. I was beginning to feel as if I were smothering...drowning. All I could see was tears. All I could dream were tears and I was crying so hard in my dreams to where my body shook, uncontrollably. Like a toddler who couldn't catch his breath after his wish wasn't met and his little heart was breaking. It was beginning to get worse with each passing moment. And then I felt the laughter. All day.

*On a humerous note: After Angela's passing, our baby sister Pansy found Angela had placed the pictures of herself on her camera.


6 comments:

Ey Wade said...

Thanks for reading.

Karra said...

Love these pics of Aunt Angela. They show exactly how silly she actually was.

Ey Wade said...

Too true.

Yvonne Hertzberger said...

That dream, in my opinion, was a visit from Angela. She wants you to laugh and let go of the sadness. When my mother-in-law died (we were close) she actually came to me visually and showed me she was whole and well again. She was happy. I think, in her way, that's what Angela was telling you. It likely won't happen again. She will continue to move on, now.

Ey Wade said...

Thanks, Yvonne. I feel better knowing she is happy. This feeling helped me a lot.

Julie Frayn said...

It's always good to remember the laughter and the silliness. So much better than the alternative. :)