Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Blind Change

I don't know when it happened. Hadn't been aware of it happening and nearly missed it. Gradually and inexplicably my blinding belief has begun disappearing. I guess it started at the loss of the home I loved so much and not being able to afford another of my own. Hurricanes can be such a damper on one's lifestyle. Maybe it began when I stopped listening to my favorite christian bands on my Ipod. I blame the trauma of the big delete.

I only know that where I used to run to God's Words as comfort, I now feel doubt and I guess a bit of anger. Now when I read words of praise, or hear songs doing the same I change songs, close blogs....move on. Its like an unconscious knee jerk reaction. I don't even think about it. Sometimes I'm able to catch myself and I stand still.My faith is still there. I know deep in my heart God could change things in a minute. I know this because everything I had home, business, income is now gone. I wish something good would happen soon.