Thursday, November 5, 2009


If it weren't for the fact I would probably drown, I would cry. Every day I feel the tears behind my eyes. I just can't figure out what to do to make life better. I can't seem to make the choices that will make 'good' things happen. I guess it could be because of the rejection letters from potential agents and the stupid premise they have to not take the rejections as a rejection of yourself???? How can you not?

I am really angry with myself for not having done my studying and knowing who Ballantine books were nine years ago. I'm having a hard time just getting over. All I can thing about it 'what would life be now?' I know I wouldn't be on the verge of wondering where we will be living in the next few months or how will we pay to live wherever we will be living. I would probably have a car and dentures so I would be able to get a lucrative paying job and not sitting at home caring and teaching children whose parents don't care about their mental growth. I'm just tired and a cry baby and need a little cheese with the whine (wine).

Maybe I'll go to bed while the kids are asleep and wake with a better frame of mind. I doubt it.

1 comment:

Debra Harris-Johnson said...

Nancy I want you to stop that "negative self talk." I could have 4 sets of teeth and I could NOT write the quality stuff you turn out. The mistakes we make lead us down different and intriguing paths that usually lead to BETTER things. Each day is a new opportunity to start over and sometimes it may take a million "start overs." You have 999,000,000 more trys.