Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Do You Pay God For Creature Comfort?

Oh, my God! I am so miserable. Mind you not as miserable as I was last night, but still devastated.

My Ipod, aptly named "My Precious" has been wiped clean. I don't know if you can imagine this, but all of the over 2000 songs, the 400 movies, television shows, the many music videos, and 243 podcasts are all gone. My heart is broken. My Ipod was 134gb of 160b g full. Everything was erased in a flash. I don't understand it. I had nothing saved in Itunes because this crappy computer didn't have enough space. I don't even want the thing any more because every time I look at it I think of all of my things gone.

It took a couple of years to gather everything and now they are gone. Some of the movies were home made and some, the majority I lucked upon. I feel like someone has died.

I don't know when something truly good is going to happen in life, but I am getting really tired of being beat up. Sometimes I go to look for something and remember it was left in Beaumont or destroyed in Ike. Either way....gone. I try my best not to keep looking back and crying about all that was lost and then something as meaningless like this happens.

I know it is just music and such, but life really sucks when you can't have any earthly comfort or something to help keep your mind off of reality. My cell phone (the Blackberry paperweight) is not on because of finances, my PSP joy stick has broken so I can't play any games. I don't have my laptop, oh and then I was told yesterday it will cost between 2 & $5000 to fix my Yota. Why would I pay that much for a 1991 Toyota? It didn't even qualify to be a clunker. What the Hell.

Someone told me the other day that I should remember to pay my tithes so God would bless me. Seems kind of odd to have to pay the giver of life to give me a decent life. Is that really how it works? Because if it is....I wish God would give me some money so I can pay him. I would gladly pay Him if that is all it took.

Monday, August 24, 2009


Okay, my babe has moved to Beaumont. It is only an approximate six month thing right now, but she has gone to finish school. Yeah! How miserable she would be in life if she had not finished the last two semesters of college. What an accomplishment. Me, I hate school.

What a funny thing to say, uh. I don't hate education I just hate the brick and mortar. If I could I would take some classes from home, but I don't want to do this for ten, eighteen, twenty-four months. Why can't I get a degree in something within two to six months? A few weeks would be even greater.

Does the length you go to school make you smarter? I suppose that depends on the field you are studying.

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to take a complete self pace form of study. I bet I would have a degree within a month. I would just fly on through them. suck up the knowledge like a sponge and flow on to the next field.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Whine and Cry. Somebody Turn on the Lights

Thank God for a place to be a crybaby. I am so damned irritated at the way things are going on in life. None of the choices I have made to better things are working out. Within the past two weeks I quite the job from hell, have gone on two interviews, did a 'try out' day and nothing has happened. I am now down to keeping a single child in my home and basically making $150 a week. Even though that is a far cry from nothing I still want to say...What the hell!

I thought moving to Houston would be a step up from living in Beaumont, but this is the same as when I moved to Baytown. Not a damned thing is working. To make things sooooo much worse the lights keep going off. For hours on end we sit with no electricity. The most frustrating thing about this is that there is nothing visible that can be causing this problem and the neighbors across the street and behind us have their lights while we remain in the dark. So that just goes to show even the choice of this town home was a terrible one to make. What do I do now? My thought is to pack everything in a big truck and move back to Beaumont. The other thought is, where? I think what I am going to do is get my car fixed, go and stay with my mom for a while and search for a job out there. While there secure me somewhere to live and then pack my stuff and move on back. Then I just wonder if I am a big crybaby and one that runs whenever trouble hits. What the hell?

I kind of like it out here in Houston...way in the under developed part of Harris county. Every time I get in the car to go somewhere its like a trip. The basic stores are so close and everything else is about twenty to an hour away. What a trip. And then the fact Gillean lives out here is a big draw. I just don't know what to do. I keep seeing good things happening on the horizon and as I get closer the horizon scoots back a few miles. What the hell?

Karra will be leaving on tomorrow to go and live with my mom so she can finish her last two semesters at Lamar and I still haven't gotten my car fixed. This will be a challenge for me. I'm really not in the mood for a challenge.

I wish someone could handle my life for a little while and fix it. I wish someone could make it better or give a hand, even if it is just an encouraging hand and not one that keeps saying, 'well others have it worse'. I'm sure they do and if I could fix theirs I would. I wish someone would just turn on the damned lights.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Pushing Myself

I can't even tell you how long it took me to get this movie together. For one thing I could only work when it was 'my time' to be on the desktop. I no longer have my own laptop so I am at the mercy of getting up before the sun or trying to type in my sleep. I went to a few months ago (before the great lap top loss) and chose and bought the people I thought were perfect for the book. Unfortunately I couldn't just pick anyone for the villain, it didn't seem right. Just this morning I found a song (for free) and when I dropped it in Movie Maker it fit perfectly.

I love the book The Perfect Solution because it is about something I truly know. I have seen so many stupid and careless things while working in the childcare profession that sometimes I just want to run with my hands in the air and scream. Tomorrow I work from 11:30-6 in a new center. All I can say is...God help me to be able to make writing a full time profession.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

What's in a Job?

I have finally quite the job from hell. Dabola, whom I secretly called diablo lost her mind on Friday. She honestly thought she would keep qualified staff for the mere payment of $7.00 an hour. The woman didn't even have the common sense to raise the wage to minimum. What really got me was how she knew she needed workers, but only wanted to get applications from Mexicans. None ever came to her place. Even when I told her some really good people had applied she said yeah, but they were only Black and White. Idiot.

This woman hates the United States so much that she even refuses to put her business into the banking system because she thinks it is wrong to have to pay taxes when she doesn't have a filled center. I truly think it is unfair to be able to come into our country as an immigrant, reap the benefits and then not follow the rules. The hardest thing to put up with is the knowledge these people all know the system and how to bypass the red tape.

Diablo was written up big time when Child Care Licensing came to inspect the building and she was livid. Not because the things were ligit, but because she felt the licensing rep was an idiot and needed mental help. Her words. She also believes she knows the rules better than anyone and she would have pulled out the book and made the rep change her findings. If baby beds are touching it is against the rules plan and simple. Dabola wanted the infant cribs together and I could tell her no different....I can't tell you how glad I am this job is over.